Confidence Hacks
Raise your hand if you catch yourself thinking or saying, “I just need a little more confidence.”
If you wait for confidence to show up before doing something, you may be waiting forever. Yes, reading an inspiring book or going to a motivational seminar can give you a confidence boost, but these feelings don’t last. So how do we build lasting and growing confidence? Let’s look at what prevents us from having the confidence we desire. I invite you to identify these blocks in yourself as you read.
Perfectionism. You set the expectations and the bar high, you freeze, worry that it is not good enough, and you procrastinate. This last one is important because a lot of the time perfectionist turns into well-disguised procrastination. It’s time to check Perfectionist (insert your name) into perfectionism rehab. Do you think Rachel Hollis or Jenna Kutcher had websites and brands that looked this way when they started? NO! And, their empires are built on them being perfectly IMPERFECT. (Pause…let this sink in.)
Self-judgement. Oh boy! Your powerful mind convinces you that you don’t know a thing. Hello, imposter syndrome! Your mind shows you visions of you failing before you even start. That ego really wants you to play small and not live to your full potential. Face it! Talk to it as if it is outside your body and mind. Name it, tame it, put it in the back seat! Send her my way if she tries to get back in the driver seat.
Fear of failure. What if I fail? What will others think? What if no one buys this product or service? Fear is our mind’s way of recognizing that you are facing a challenge. By focusing on these thoughts and creating a fearful narrative, you are giving it energy and power. Instead, come up with your values-based actions and channel all the energy into it. And ask yourself, “What is the cost of NOT DOING THIS?” and “What feeling will I have when I DO SUCCEED?” Change the narrative and give that positive feeling the power.
Lack of experience. Experience gives you confidence, but in the service-based industry, it can become a catch-22. The only way you can gain more experience is by doing. But you won’t do until you feel like you have enough experience. Ask yourself this “Am I not doing something because I truly do not have the required experience, or am I using it as an excuse?” Be kind to yourself. But if the latter is the truth, you need to stop procrastinating and DO. One of my favorite teachings from Dr. Russ Harris is, “Actions of confidence come first. The feelings of confidence come later.”
Lack of skill. The more skill you have, the better you are at it. So, what skills are you missing? What skills need improving? Do you need to take a class to get better in this skill? You cannot get out of this one without actually practicing the skill. The only way to get better at something is to keep doing it, learning from the mistakes, implementing changes, and practicing some more.
How can I be of service to you?
I can help you identify the negative fear narrative, and teach you the techniques to manage those thoughts. I can help you rewire your brain, create a narrative that is aligned with your values and vision, and motivate you to keep practicing it.
Don’t let the excuse of low confidence hold you back, my friend.