Motivation
If motivation prevents you from doing activities that align with your values and help improve the overall quality of your life, this is the post for you.
Let me start by asking you this simple questions: “What's more desirable to you: an avoidance-driven or a values-driven life?” If you picked avoidance, then I can’t really help you. Stop reading now. If you picked values, let’s dig a little deeper.
Motivated people are committed. They are committed to whatever it might be e.g. getting up early to meditate, workout, take extra time to cook healthy meals, to do what needs to be done to feel good, to work harder, to move towards thriving and growth. They don’t wait for an unpredictable wave of good energy or inspiration. They are also not motivated by a transient goal e.g. bikini body for a beach trip in june. Their motivation is constant. Sure, they have moments of low motivation too, but they know how to dig themselves out, and they have the DESIRE to do so.
Motivation does not fuel this commitment, it is the other way round. If you are searching for someone to motivate you, a book that will teach you discipline and improve your willpower, I am sorry to break it to you but that won’t last. It’s not in a bestseller or an accountability partner. It is all about YOUR MINDSET. There is no magic. It’s just a matter of choice. A choice you make every 5 minutes, to keep moving towards your values and to remain mindful and fully engaged, or away from your values into avoidance abyss with mindless autopilot behavior and no motivation in sight.
How to become motivated? What is the activity you are avoiding? Working out? Cooking healthy? Working on a project? Finishing a book? Practicing a skill?
Reconnect with your values. Does the version of you that fully embodies these values engage in this activity? If your value is Vitality, does that embodied lifestyle include working out?
Envision what it will feel like after you finish the activity, after you are in a routine of doing it regularly, maybe couple of months of doing that activity. How will it improve your life?
Start by DOING. Just start. Remind yourself what it actually feels like to be doing it.
Use SMART goals framework (Specific, Motivated by values, Adaptive, Realistic, Time-Framed). There are a bunch of different ones; I prefer the ACT one. It keeps you anchored to your values. I can email you a worksheet and walk you through the process. It’s easy, and it works!
Unhook from the narrative “I am not motivated.” - talk to me about techniques and tools for this one.
It is not just about working out. It never is. Chances are there is more avoidance and mindless autopilot going on. Maybe it is time to meet your shadow side, your blocks, and resistances.
And this brings me to my original question. Which would you rather? Paint two versions of your life. One where you are motivated, driven, committed, in control, mindful, intentional, and conscious. And one where you are stuck in avoidance cycle and autopilot, waiting for a stroke of motivation, starting and giving up, just drifting. Fast forward 10, 20, 30 years. Where do you want to be? You have this one life to live. Who do you want to be? Today is the day to decide. Decide.